on a Dopamine high

"a happy life isnt about chasing a man or even having a man ... a happy life is about being the best woman you can be"

#nowplaying: Emeli Sandé - Next To Me

"you will find him, you'll find him next to me"




You won't find him drinking under tables


Rolling dice or staying out til 3

You won't ever find him be unfaithful

You will find him, you'll find him next to me



You won't find him tryna to change the devil

For money, fame, for power, out of greed

You won't ever find him where the rest go

You will find him, you'll find him next to me



Next to me - wooh hooo

Next to me - wooh hooo

Next to me - wooh hooo

You will find him, you'll find him next to me



When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished

And I can't seem to find no help or love for free

I know there's no need for me to panic

'Cause I'll find him, I'll find him next to me



When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing

And the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe

When all I need's a hand to stop the tears from falling

I will find him, I'll find him next to me



Next to me - wooh hooo

Next to me - wooh hooo

Next to me - wooh hooo

I will find him, I'll find him next to me



When the end has come and buildings falling down fast

When we've spoilt the land and dried up all the sea

When everyone has lost their heads around us

You will find him, you'll find him next to me



Next to me - wooh hooo

Next to me - wooh hooo

Next to me - wooh hooo

You will find him, you'll find him next to me



Next to me - wooh hooo

Next to me - wooh hooo

Next to me - wooh hooo

You will find him you'll find him next to me

Letter to my 25 year old self, at 35


Be too focused on improving yourself, that you don’t have time to criticize others. Credit cards are evil. Talk is cheap. There is always, always something to be thankFull for. There is no soul mate. The One is The One because you say he is The One. Life is what you make of it. Everything happens for a reason. Tragedy happens. life can be cruel and heart wrenching. Some souls will collide and mistakes are bound to happen. Believe it or not, you reserve the right to cut people off when they start to corrupt the peaceful ambiance that is your life. You are extremely Blessed.  SING off key. Sometimes you know you shouldn’t do “it” … and that’s exactly why you should. Make it a point to be encouraging as possible, as much as possible to everyone as possible. If a married man tries to French Kiss you, it is definitely out of bounds. Burn your to do list.  Get out more, socialize, meet new people. Don’t take it personally, especially when they don’t know you personally. Continue to “Be kinder than necessary”. Your heart…your heart…your heart is where it’s at. Be generous with your time. The race is long and in the end its only against your self. Be less critical with your words. Love all, love always. Don’t look back EVER. Enter. Leave. You will exercise, you will eat right, you will eat wrong, you will lose weight, you will gain weight. you will get gray hair. You will feel frumpy at times. Remember you are beautiful. Fall in love. with yourself. with him. You can be anything you want in the world…. Just don’t be ungrateful. Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace. BECAUSE LIFE IS SHORT.

Hello May,

It's been a while, I'm not who I was before ...


You look surprised,

I saw you the other day … and it dawned on me that I don’t remember us ever saying goodbye, but I know that you’re gone and I miss our friendship. I wish that it didn’t have to end on such a sour sucky note but it did, I guess its true what they say everything has its season and reason.

The void our friendship left had me broken and I felt totally abandoned, (only for a minute) but I’m also a stronger paerson today because of the knowledge you’ve left with me, you’ve showed me there’s nothing I couldn’t do, be or have once I put my mind to it.

I only called today to say Thank You for the lessons learned, and I’ve appreciated each moment and valued our time - I wish you all the best that life and love will offer you.

Goodbye, unspoken words



*sending you love and light, now I'mma drop it

Dear Life,

Thank You for a place where unconditional love is given and received

We spend January walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives ... not looking for flaws, but for potential.


~Ellen Goodman

Friendships are not to be judged cause people are people (so they say). Granted people are human beings first and yes people make mistakes but when the effery hits the fan how do you know when to forgive, when to move on, and when to do both?




I’ll leave that up to you and your intuition.

Promise yourself to accept life as it comes

and truly make each day special~~

to become more independent and more

willing to change ~~

to fill your life with special times,

and make your dreams come true.

~~~Deanna Beisser

 

 

(Promise Yourself)

 

 

I PROMISE

Motherhood is a task that at times does not seem equal to the super powers that I possess. It is a blessing, an honor, a cherished responsibility, a wondrous experience - but it can be overwhelming, challenging, and downright bone-wearying tired. It demands everything every second of the day. There are times when I feel like I've run out of anything to give. but in those moments God gently reassures me that they have a Heavenly Father who loves them to infinity and beyond. He will strengthen me and guide me as I raise my children in the knowledge of Him.

"...it turns out that there are few things more chaotic than the beat of a human heart. its speeding up, slowing down. pretty face, flight of stairs. it's always changing depending on what's happening out there. it's an erratic son of {jay-walker}. but underneath all of that bump-da-bump mess, there is, in fact, a pattern - the truth. and it's love. the most important thing about love is that we choose to give it, and we choose to receive it - making it the least random act in the entire universe. it transcends blood; it transcends betrayal, and all the dirt that makes us human. if you can figure that out, the jake lees of the world have got nothing on you." - frank allen | chaos theory

"Assumptions are the death of any relationship"

If you think you know what is going on inside someone else's head, think again. We imagine that we have the power to read one another's mind, when all we are really doing is reading our own.

It's a great self-defense mechanism but no substitute for actual communication. The very best way to know what is really on someone's mind - ask them.

he's out there somewhere

Only pure unadulterated anticipation can make a woman swoon over a stranger like that. Why wouldn’t she? She’s known him more than anyone can ever know him, this man she’s never met. He’s been existing in her head for years now, he appears more clearly in the nooks and corners of every part of her wandering heart.


She walks to her bedside table, switches on the small lamp, and confidently pulls out “The List” from the top drawer. Scrolling down the page with her eyes, she throws her head back, bursting into laughter. She’s in love with him, she cannot lie. Neither can she wait to meet this warrior of a man.

he puts family first
he is polite to his mother and respectful to his father
he has eyes for me only
he works hard
he is humble
he wants the best for me and our children
he does not swear in front of our children
his love for me and our children is unconditional
he is a human jungle gym for our children
he will find the time for our children
he helps with our children at bedtime
he is passionate about our family
he is a good leader
he is disciplined
he is not one to complain
I can trust his judgement
he does the right thing even when he does not want to
he tries to please me
he is organized
I can tell him my deepest secret
he does not judge me
he respects my past and knows I don't live there anymore
he heals me
he knows the real me
he accepts me
he shares his deepest secrets, dreams and hopes with me alone
he loves to get his hands dirty
he is adventurous
he is dependable
he takes command
he can sweet talk me
he is a saver
he is a spender
he encourages me
he can fix anything
he knows when to call a repairman
he is a cutie
he is a snuggler
he asks my opinion
he is in awe at our children
he is committed to our marriage
he is realistic
he surprises me with flowers and gifts
he compliments me
he is a good guy
even when I am wrong he is still kind
he chooses his words gently when I am upset
he is consistent
he cooks
he can clean
he is my all around "Handy Man"
he has simple tastes
he is attracted to me and only me
he has a sweet smile
he is passionate
he does not makes excuses
he knows me
he is a great bug killer
he will help with the laundry
he touches me in all the right ways, and in all the right places
he loves me as we get older
he is a good man but he strives to be better
he values my job as a wife and mother
he is encouraging to our children
he does not belittle me or our children
his eyes does not stray
he does not cheat on me
he does not drink (too much)
he never does drugs (only the OTC ones)
he gets whats important in life
he would do anything to keep me smiling
he would lay down his life for me and our children
his arms are protective
he is strong
he is a beautiful man
he is a phenomenal lover
he would rather be with me and our children than any where else
he pursues a relationship with God
he rolls with the punches
he is a trusted friend
he would give a stranger the shirt off of his back
he is honest
he is not a showoff
he has "it" together
he is always prepared
he is a great provider
he sees thing to be done and does it
he is creative
he calls if he is running late
he is a great hugger
he gives good back rubs
he is happy to work behind the scenes
he makes me laugh
he has a good heart
his kisses leave me breathless
his love leave me weak for more
he is honorable
he takes out the garbage
when he makes decisions he considers the needs of our family first
he is irresistible
he is kind
he has my heart and knows how to handle it with care
he is respected at work
he is a great boss
he is a good employee
he is a man of his word
he desires to be the best husband and father he can be
he is a good companion
he chose me

One day … and hopefully soon … this man she already loves will be hers to keep ….










She hasn’t met him yet, but someday she will.

#nowPlaying: Jessica Simpson, I want to love you forever

"Helen, if I'm away from you for more than an hour, I can't stop thinking about you. I carry you in my spirit. I pray for you more than I pray for myself. I've got it so bad for you I'd... I'd go to the grocery store and buy your feminine products, I swear I would." - Orlando


*Diary of a Mad Black Woman

'Expectation is the root of all heartache.' - William Shakespeare

My policy is "Depend on no one". It isn't a very good policy but I've seen where people can be spiteful at times.

I dont offer advice. EVER. I use to but now *bleh*

5 reasons why I don’t give advice:

1. 99.99% of the time the person who wants the advice knows exactly what they are going to do anyway.

2. People will generally use the advise you give them to counter-criticize you. Yes I have been called self-righteous and judgmental.

3. People generally don’t want advice; they want a sounding board.

4. Your advice could be wrapped in hundred dollar bills … if a person isn’t ready to receive the life lesson they won’t get it.

5. Sometimes giving advice is like the equivalent of peddling bullshit. Often times where something may have worked for you; it won’t work with others.

He rises to greet her, no hugs, no touching and yet something

That unspoken something, that needs no explaining

I am meant to be seen, heard, felt, touched, loved, adored, honored, and cherished
Forever and ever

He smiles

He says I’m beautiful

#NowPlaying: Zhane, Crush

"...there was one thing that I failed to show him, I love him and he doesnt know"

Dear Future Husband,

I wonder, are you thinking of me; like how I'm thinking of you ..

It's crazy how you can go months or years without talking to someone but they still cross your mind everyday.