I saw you the other day … and it dawned on me that I don’t remember us ever saying goodbye, but I know that you’re gone and I miss our friendship. I wish that it didn’t have to end on such a sour sucky note but it did, I guess its true what they say everything has its season and reason.

The void our friendship left had me broken and I felt totally abandoned, (only for a minute) but I’m also a stronger paerson today because of the knowledge you’ve left with me, you’ve showed me there’s nothing I couldn’t do, be or have once I put my mind to it.

I only called today to say Thank You for the lessons learned, and I’ve appreciated each moment and valued our time - I wish you all the best that life and love will offer you.

Goodbye, unspoken words



*sending you love and light, now I'mma drop it

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1




I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost ... I am helpless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.



Chapter 2



I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.



Chapter 3



I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in ... it's a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.



Chapter 4



I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.



Chapter 5



I walk down another street.







(There's a Hole in My Sidewalk) ~ Portia Nelson ~



















There are some holes that I fall into out of habits that are very hard to change, over the years negotiating the holes on the street has become easier, and for the most part I take a different street. Still, there are those difficult “what the effery?” times that I fall and stumble into a hole.

Friendships are not to be judged cause people are people (so they say). Granted people are human beings first and yes people make mistakes but when the effery hits the fan how do you know when to forgive, when to move on, and when to do both?




I’ll leave that up to you and your intuition.

Lately I've been struggling, Spiritually and Emotionally. I have been thinking of what path I should take or the path that I am currently on – where is it leading me?




Hopefully I will soon find a balance.

He holds on to the moments they spend together.  He watches her open up and then shut down.  Her inconsistency makes him want her even more.  Something about her attention makes him feel super human, so he savors whatever she is willing to give.  Deep down, he knows that she will never be his.  So for as long as he can, he has decided to be where she needs him to be.  It’s just a duty to her that he can't explain.

Motherhood is a task that at times does not seem equal to the super powers that I possess. It is a blessing, an honor, a cherished responsibility, a wondrous experience - but it can be overwhelming, challenging, and downright bone-wearying tired. It demands everything every second of the day. There are times when I feel like I've run out of anything to give. but in those moments God gently reassures me that they have a Heavenly Father who loves them to infinity and beyond. He will strengthen me and guide me as I raise my children in the knowledge of Him.

Breathe. Close your eyes, clear all thoughts and embrace the moment you are in. No need to worry about tomorrow or the next day, for you might miss the opportunities that are staring you dead in the eye.

Someday isn’t real, but its real to me

“Someday.” *Ahh. The lies we tell ourselves when we want what we truly want but don’t believe we can have it*

Someday never happens because life just doesn’t work that way, but I will remain hopefull that my Someday will come sooner than later.

It's okay, I'll sit on the sidelines just as long as he sits with me ...

~Mary, Mary - Sitting with Me

He rises to greet her, no hugs, no touching and yet something

That unspoken something, that needs no explaining

I am meant to be seen, heard, felt, touched, loved, adored, honored, and cherished
Forever and ever

He smiles

He says I’m beautiful

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."

~Thich Nhat Hanh

I am at the point in life where the road seems so long and uncertain, yet going back is equally as uncertain. So I press on in the hope that his Providence will get me through.

(Phillipians 3:13-14)

#nowPlaying: Fantasia, Whenever I see you

".. Never know when ya might walk by so I gotta be right on time"

"A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes at will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself, and only herself."

~Maya Angelou

This song always brings a smile to my face! I'd like to believe it was written especially for me!

Dear Future Husband,

I wonder, are you thinking of me; like how I'm thinking of you ..

Lazy days are meant to be lazy for more reasons than one ... sometimes we just have to take time out for ourselves, and indulge in YOU!!!!

my two favorite couple "Monica and Shannon Brown"

It didn’t take long for them to get married. I wonder why is it, when you date someone for forever and a day, they never marry you. But when you meet someone new you’re married in no time ...

...until then I remain hopeFull

he doesn't know it

... Whenever he calls me "sweety" I melt a little inside

... A tiny little "I'm sorry. It was my fault. Please forgive me" would squash everything between us

... I will never, ever be his, bear his children, or marry him. No matter what

... In the short time we were together I kinda fell for him *hard*

... I'd give him "carte blanc" in the bedroom, no commitment necessary

... He was my first true love

... I only use him for an ego boost

... While I play the friend role, I'm secretly waiting out his relationship

... If I didn't have him in my life I couldn't go on

I want to change my way of thinking. I refuse to believe that my best years are behind me. Starting today I refuse to live with regret of what I could have accomplished “back in the day”.

All that matters is today, and today I care.