If you're not married ..... you're single .....
Relationship blogger Life Skills has alot to say about single women in relationships ... the following is a snippet of what he says ...
“The real problem with women in relationships is that they are doing marital acts with their man and they are not married. Examples of Marital Acts:
*Keys to the apartment
*Laying up under each other for hours at a time
*Putting things in each other’s name and you are not married (Cars, Cell phones, etc)
*Sex without a condom
*You call him your hubby or wife. (Bad words for a relationship is MY Wifey, MY Boo, MY anything. If you are not married to it, it’s not yours…)
*You are playing house. (i.e. Cleaning up their house, cooking etc...)
*Moving in or shacking up. (Why would you move in with someone without getting married? Don’t assume that just because you will move in with this dude, he’ll eventually marry you. )
*When you do these type of marital acts, you are giving a person the opportunity to use you up. They are getting the most out of you already so “why would they marry you?”.
*dude is on to something … why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free*
when will i get married?
You are 36% close to marriage!
You are near to making the cut but not quite there yet.. See a councillor, read some books or anything then come back to try again.
When will you get married?
Take More Quizzes
*ouch, guess I have alot of growing to do*
currently reading: Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner
I've recently read two books by Jennifer Weiner. In her Shoes and Good in Bed, now I'm on Little Earthquakes definitely something to write home about. I've gotten into the book so quickly, its something that I could definitely relate - adjusting to life as a new mother. So far a very refreshing read.
think she's going to be on my to read author other books written by Jennifer Weiner
Fly away Home
Best Friends Forever
Certain Girls
The Guy Not Taken
Good Night Nobody
think she's going to be on my to read author other books written by Jennifer Weiner
Fly away Home
Best Friends Forever
Certain Girls
The Guy Not Taken
Good Night Nobody
35 Things I Want to Do/Experience before I Turn 35
1. Try parasailing at least once
2. Become debt free, except for a mortgage/car loan
3. Have at least three months salary in a savings account
4. Start a savings for the boys that will equal their ages
5. Visit Las Vegas
6. Visit Mexico
7. Visit Europe, anywhere in Europe
8. Go on a Disney Cruise with the boys
9. Run/Walk a 5K
10. Sponsor lunch for a child in need for one school term
11. Have a standing monthly get together/dinner/game/movie night with family
12. Be comfortable enough to wear a bikini at the beach
13. Volunteer/Become active in at least one charity
14. stop giving a flying fcuk about what others think
15. Attend a NBA Basketball Game
16. Get involved in a sporting activity
17. Learn another language (or at least start)
18. Purge my closet and donate the clothes
19. Get a new wardrobe
20. Learn to swim
21. Buy a bicycle and ride 3 miles
22. Watch a ballet
23. Ride a horse
24. Read all of the books written by my 3 favourite authors
25. Spend New Years Eve in another Country
26. Visit a Museum
27. Memorize one bible verse a month (Proverbs)
28. Learn a new word daily
29. Do something randomly nice for one person a month (secretly)
30. Take a risk
31. Buy a House
32. Become a blood donor
33. Get my tattoo removed
34. Buy myself a piece of real jewelry
35. Get married
1. Try parasailing at least once
2. Become debt free, except for a mortgage/car loan
3. Have at least three months salary in a savings account
4. Start a savings for the boys that will equal their ages
5. Visit Las Vegas
6. Visit Mexico
7. Visit Europe, anywhere in Europe
8. Go on a Disney Cruise with the boys
9. Run/Walk a 5K
10. Sponsor lunch for a child in need for one school term
11. Have a standing monthly get together/dinner/game/movie night with family
12. Be comfortable enough to wear a bikini at the beach
13. Volunteer/Become active in at least one charity
14. stop giving a flying fcuk about what others think
15. Attend a NBA Basketball Game
16. Get involved in a sporting activity
17. Learn another language (or at least start)
18. Purge my closet and donate the clothes
19. Get a new wardrobe
20. Learn to swim
21. Buy a bicycle and ride 3 miles
22. Watch a ballet
23. Ride a horse
24. Read all of the books written by my 3 favourite authors
25. Spend New Years Eve in another Country
26. Visit a Museum
27. Memorize one bible verse a month (Proverbs)
28. Learn a new word daily
29. Do something randomly nice for one person a month (secretly)
30. Take a risk
31. Buy a House
32. Become a blood donor
33. Get my tattoo removed
34. Buy myself a piece of real jewelry
35. Get married
nowplaying: Right to be Wrong - Joss Stone
I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown...
1st 10 songs on my shuffle
1. She got her own Neyo
There ain’t nothing that’s more sexy than a girl that want, but don’t need me
2. That’s the way love goes Janet Jackson
Like a moth to a flame Burned by the fire My love is blind Can't you see my desire
3. Believe Lenny Kravitz
If you want it you got it You just got to believe, Believe in yourself
4. Love me better Kelly Rowland
maybe I'm crazy for thinking that you were gonna change or maybe it could just be me am i not loving you the same?
5. On my mind Daville
This love is real and I don’t wanna fool myself, it belongs to you and no one else
6. He Heals me India Arie
He heals me, he knows the real me, and he accepts me, he never hurts me
7. pepperPot Sean Paul
any which part you walk you got me caught you a di top my pepperpot
8. Picture KidRock Ft. Cheyrl Crow
Since you’ve been gone my world has been dark and gray
9. Be without you Mary J. Blige
Anybody who’s ever loved, ya know just what I feel, too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
10. Russian Roulette Rhianna
If you play, you play for keeps
There ain’t nothing that’s more sexy than a girl that want, but don’t need me
2. That’s the way love goes Janet Jackson
Like a moth to a flame Burned by the fire My love is blind Can't you see my desire
3. Believe Lenny Kravitz
If you want it you got it You just got to believe, Believe in yourself
4. Love me better Kelly Rowland
maybe I'm crazy for thinking that you were gonna change or maybe it could just be me am i not loving you the same?
5. On my mind Daville
This love is real and I don’t wanna fool myself, it belongs to you and no one else
6. He Heals me India Arie
He heals me, he knows the real me, and he accepts me, he never hurts me
7. pepperPot Sean Paul
any which part you walk you got me caught you a di top my pepperpot
8. Picture KidRock Ft. Cheyrl Crow
Since you’ve been gone my world has been dark and gray
9. Be without you Mary J. Blige
Anybody who’s ever loved, ya know just what I feel, too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
10. Russian Roulette Rhianna
If you play, you play for keeps
nowplaying: Down on Me, Jermih ft. 50cent
"If I do not fit, I'm gonna make it, Girl, you can take it, don't stop, get it, get ...." ahem - LoL -
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
~Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
~Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
Strawberry and Banana Parfait
Ingredients
3/4 cup sliced strawberries
1 (6 ounce) container vanilla yogurt
1 tablespoon wheat germ
1/2 banana, sliced
1/3 cup granola
Directions
Layer 1/4 cup strawberries, 1/3 container yogurt, 1/3 tablespoon wheat germ, 1/3 of the sliced banana, and about 2 tablespoons of granola in a large bowl. Continue to build the parfait, repeating the layers until all of the ingredients are used completely
*I make this in a to-go cup for my kids to eat on their way to school and for myself as a snack at work! You can use a different variety of fruits and yogurt.*
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
~Kahlil Gibran on Love~
*I want to love and be loved like that.
*
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
~Kahlil Gibran on Love~
*I want to love and be loved like that.
*
#nowplaying: featuring Nate Dogg
Warren G. feat. Nate Dogg, “Regulate”
50 Cent feat. Nate Dogg, “21 Questions”
Dr. Dre feat. Nate Dogg, “The Next Episode”
Ludacris feat. Nate Dogg, “Area Codes”
~moment of silence for a hip-hop legend ... R.I.P. Nathaniel Dwayne Hale (Nate Dogg)~
(August 19, 1969 – March 15, 2011)
50 Cent feat. Nate Dogg, “21 Questions”
Dr. Dre feat. Nate Dogg, “The Next Episode”
Ludacris feat. Nate Dogg, “Area Codes”
~moment of silence for a hip-hop legend ... R.I.P. Nathaniel Dwayne Hale (Nate Dogg)~
(August 19, 1969 – March 15, 2011)
Tsunami Hits Japan After 8.9 Earthquake
My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to those who have been affected by the disaster in Japan. The country was hit with an 8.9 magnitude earthquake last night while we were sleeping .... followed by a massive 20 foot Tsunami, which is headed for Hawaii ..
They say these are the end of days, I don’t know what is. Life is so fragile and can be changed in an instant ... it's too short to bitch and moan ...
Here today gone tomorrow, you never know.
They say these are the end of days, I don’t know what is. Life is so fragile and can be changed in an instant ... it's too short to bitch and moan ...
Here today gone tomorrow, you never know.
What are you giving up for Lent????
(even though I’m not Catholic) I am so determined to eat healthy and become a better me … I am not going to be unhealthy and overweight, carrying around this oversized gut that makes me look like I'm 3months pregnant.
I am going to be that fit hot mom that looks like Nicole Murphy. She's my inspiration 40+ and 5 kids later .. such a hotty, hot, hot .. That will be me. Oh yes, that will be me! (I'm claiming it)
DAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! (Smokey voice)
I’m also planning on staying away from Twitter and FaceBook those are my dirty cocktails of choice and I’m so addicted - can you say "intervention".
I am going to be that fit hot mom that looks like Nicole Murphy. She's my inspiration 40+ and 5 kids later .. such a hotty, hot, hot .. That will be me. Oh yes, that will be me! (I'm claiming it)
DAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! (Smokey voice)
I’m also planning on staying away from Twitter and FaceBook those are my dirty cocktails of choice and I’m so addicted - can you say "intervention".
WIFE, WOMAN, FRIEND
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that my beginning was his end. After all, we were just friends. Although in my world I was his girl, so I would pretend to be his wife. Saying sh*t like, "there's only so many years in a woman's life". Right, so I gave him three.
Yet he had the audacity to step to me on this Donnell Jones "I don't know where I wanna be" type sh*t. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He hit me with the forehead kiss. told me life was a journey and he was ready to explore this sh*t, and I was pissed.
To me he was a hypocrite like a fake preacher in the pulpit and he left me sick, and no he didn’t choose me, but that doesn’t make him right nor wrong.
And just because he was the epitome of my life that doesn't make me wrong nor right. Like I said I was his friend and not his wife. And I should've acted within that capacity. And maybe then this breakup would've been "just one of those things". Instead of a f**king tragedy.
And all the time I spent mad at him hell I should've been mad at me. After all I was the one that gave him the key to my house, and Let him hang clothes in my closet just in case we go out. Not to mention washing all his dirty clothes just to make a "full load". And let him finish off all the leftovers just so the food don't go old.
For the times that we raw-dogged cause he "lost all the rubbers". And though I showed him more support than his own father, brother, sister, and mother and just 'cause those same people dial my number when they're trying to stay get touch. And he received mail at my address "cause he be here so much".
Got total control of the remote control to the TV, DVD, and radio And even though his name is not on my lease got sh*t in my house that is off limits to me like his side of my bed and his stash of weed.
But none of this obligates him to me because not once did we exchange vows. And If I knew then, what I know now, I probably would've listened, when he said it was some sh*t that he needed to get out his system. But I was too busy bitchin', jumpin' bad like I was gonna hit him. And in the back of my mind all I could fathom was how much I was gonna miss him. But just because I'm cryin' don't mean I'm the victim, it's just that I was too scared to let him go 'cause some other chick might get him.
And that was my fault, it was my decision I should've never put my heart in my mind's position. But I couldn't shake him--he was like a bad habit. And all this for a nigga that was just average, doing average nigga sh*t Like talking out the side of his neck and thinking with his d*ck.
But, I must admit he's the one I wanted to commit to. Either I wasn't living up to my potential, or I was just the average chick. But I chose to believe that I was a woman caught up in a feeling. Both physical and emotional, who was way too willing to give her all to a man. And though it may sound stupid, guess what? I would do it all again. Just next time for my husband and not a nigga I call my friend.
~I didn't write this..~Dana Gilmore~ did..a respected poet that I love..I wanted to put this up here so other women could read it and maybe learn from it..~
Happy Lately ....
An unexpected sweet text
A great haircut
A book that inspires
Being tickled
Amaretto anything
A run at sunset
Friends that call at just the right time
Remembering who I am
God’s words of truth spoken so timely
The huge smile on my niece’s sweet face
What’s making you happy lately?
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
~William Ernsest Hensley~
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
~William Ernsest Hensley~
Restless night - I had one of those moments where for a nanosecond, everything about me felt a little off. Nothing seemed right. I wasn’t sure who I had become? Or where I was going in life.
I decided to pray. and why not?
I pleaded to him. I laid it all out. I bared my heart and soul.
I saw His smile, I know I saw it. He heard my cry and he absorbed everything I threw at him and reflected it back in the best kind of love you could imagine.
and then, I slid straight towards a serenity of sleep.
When I woke, it was a brand new day, and I was ready for it.
I decided to pray. and why not?
I pleaded to him. I laid it all out. I bared my heart and soul.
I saw His smile, I know I saw it. He heard my cry and he absorbed everything I threw at him and reflected it back in the best kind of love you could imagine.
and then, I slid straight towards a serenity of sleep.
When I woke, it was a brand new day, and I was ready for it.
10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.
~author unkown~
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.
~author unkown~
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Who is this coming up from the desert leaning on her lover? Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you, there she who was in labor gave you birth. Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned. We have a young sister, and her breasts are not yet grown. What shall we do for our sister for the day she is spoken for?"
~Song of Solomon 8:4-8~
~Song of Solomon 8:4-8~
All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl’s a 10
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful.
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful.
My walk my talk the way I dress
It’s not my fault so please don’t trip
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful
Kerry Hilson, ~pretty girl rock~
No question that this girl’s a 10
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful.
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful.
My walk my talk the way I dress
It’s not my fault so please don’t trip
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful
Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful
Kerry Hilson, ~pretty girl rock~
Experience has shown me that if you know it’s never coming, or even if you have your suspicions .. take some time to really consider what it is you’re waiting for and the overall importance in your entire life.
I could have saved my heart and mind for some of the most traumatic ‘ish I’ve ever been through.
There are very few regrets in my life, and that mess was one of them. I wish I’d had the sense to stop waiting.
But yet I continue to wait.
#nowPlaying: Kerry Hilson, Energy
"I'm having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy, how do we reverse the chemistry..."
Christian Keyes is such a cutieCute ((yummy))#random
Christian Keyes is such a cutieCute ((yummy))#random
Chances are ...
Chances are, that person who was rude to you on the phone or in the checkout line was really just worried about something in their own life and it had nothing to do with you. Don't take it personally. Brush it off and move on.
Chances are, the person you spend so much time being jealous of and comparing yourself to isn’t who you think they are. He or she is likely to have a host of their own issues now; or they have grown past more hurdles than you can imagine getting to where they are. Just be you and your time will come.
Chances are, that worrying about that problem isn't going to solve it. Seek solutions and take action toward them.
Chances are you will experience a more peaceful and fulfilling life, when you take control of the reigns and live it from the inside out.
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “why would anyone bring home all of his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd”. I had a quiet weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running towards him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So I jogged over to him and he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw tears in his eyes.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get a life”. He looked at me and said “Hey thanks!” there was a big smile on his face, It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him were he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to a private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kids before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said “boy you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” he just laughed and handed my half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that had really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, was I jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looked (the really grateful one) and smiled. “Thanks,” he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat and began “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your sibling, maybe a coach….but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so him Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a smile. “thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.” I heard a gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
~author unKnown~
~we should never underestimate the power of our actions, with one small gesture you can change a person’s life, for the better or for the worse~
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running towards him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So I jogged over to him and he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw tears in his eyes.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get a life”. He looked at me and said “Hey thanks!” there was a big smile on his face, It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him were he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to a private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kids before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said “boy you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” he just laughed and handed my half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that had really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, was I jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looked (the really grateful one) and smiled. “Thanks,” he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat and began “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your sibling, maybe a coach….but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so him Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a smile. “thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.” I heard a gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
~author unKnown~
~we should never underestimate the power of our actions, with one small gesture you can change a person’s life, for the better or for the worse~
Smoothie Recipe (s)
Apricot Pineapple Smoothie Recipe
◦1/4 cup crushed pineapple
◦1 fresh apricot, diced
◦6 strawberries
◦1/2 banana
◦1 1/2 cup water
◦1 tbsp. skim milk powder
◦1 heaping tbsp. high- quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax seed oil (optional)
In a blender, process fruit with the rest of the ingredients. Blend until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Banana-Strawberry Fruit Smoothie Recipe
◦1 banana, frozen
◦6 strawberries, frozen
◦1 1/4 cup water
◦1 tbsp. skim milk powder
◦1 heaping tbsp. high- quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax oil (optional)
In a blender, process all the ingredients until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Tropical Fruit Shake
◦1/2 mango
◦2 tbsp. frozen pina coloda mix (or 1/8 tsp. natural coconut extract)
◦1/2 banana, frozen
◦4 strawberries, frozen
◦6 ice cubes
◦1 1/4 cup water
◦1 heaping tbsp. high- quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax oil (optional)
In a blender, process all the ingredients until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Banana-Berry Fruit Smoothie
◦1/2 pear, cored
◦1/4 cup frozen blueberries or frozen mixed berries
◦1/2 banana, frozen
◦1 1/4 cup water
◦1/8 tsp. cinnamon
◦1 tbsp. skim milk powder
◦1 heaping tbsp. high-quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax oil (optional)
In a blender, process all the ingredients until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Banana-Orange-Strawberry Fruit Shake
◦1/2 cup orange juice
◦1/2 banana, frozen
◦6 strawberries, frozen
◦1/2 cup water
◦1 tbsp. skim milk powder
◦1 heaping tbsp. high- quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax oil (optional)
In a blender, process all the ingredients until thoroughly mixed and serve.
◦1/4 cup crushed pineapple
◦1 fresh apricot, diced
◦6 strawberries
◦1/2 banana
◦1 1/2 cup water
◦1 tbsp. skim milk powder
◦1 heaping tbsp. high- quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax seed oil (optional)
In a blender, process fruit with the rest of the ingredients. Blend until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Banana-Strawberry Fruit Smoothie Recipe
◦1 banana, frozen
◦6 strawberries, frozen
◦1 1/4 cup water
◦1 tbsp. skim milk powder
◦1 heaping tbsp. high- quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax oil (optional)
In a blender, process all the ingredients until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Tropical Fruit Shake
◦1/2 mango
◦2 tbsp. frozen pina coloda mix (or 1/8 tsp. natural coconut extract)
◦1/2 banana, frozen
◦4 strawberries, frozen
◦6 ice cubes
◦1 1/4 cup water
◦1 heaping tbsp. high- quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax oil (optional)
In a blender, process all the ingredients until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Banana-Berry Fruit Smoothie
◦1/2 pear, cored
◦1/4 cup frozen blueberries or frozen mixed berries
◦1/2 banana, frozen
◦1 1/4 cup water
◦1/8 tsp. cinnamon
◦1 tbsp. skim milk powder
◦1 heaping tbsp. high-quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax oil (optional)
In a blender, process all the ingredients until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Banana-Orange-Strawberry Fruit Shake
◦1/2 cup orange juice
◦1/2 banana, frozen
◦6 strawberries, frozen
◦1/2 cup water
◦1 tbsp. skim milk powder
◦1 heaping tbsp. high- quality protein powder (optional)
◦1 tsp. flax oil (optional)
In a blender, process all the ingredients until thoroughly mixed and serve.
Don’t miss your boat!
There was a guy drowing in the ocean. He prayed to God to save him.
A few minutes later a boat came and offered to pick him up and take him to shore. The drowning man refused and the boat left.
Another boat came and offered to save the man and he said no thanks, and the boat left.
Finally a third boat came and said I can help you. Once again the drowing man said no.
When he died he said to God: I trusted you. Why didn’t you save me??
God said: I sent you 3 boats!!
A few minutes later a boat came and offered to pick him up and take him to shore. The drowning man refused and the boat left.
Another boat came and offered to save the man and he said no thanks, and the boat left.
Finally a third boat came and said I can help you. Once again the drowing man said no.
When he died he said to God: I trusted you. Why didn’t you save me??
God said: I sent you 3 boats!!
notes to self
•Never go a day without love and happiness. Life is too short not to be happy. The less I worry about life, the less I have to worry
•Don’t be in a hurry. Marriage will come, family will come, money will come. In its own time, enjoy where I am right now.
•Friends don’t hurt. Surround myself with things that are uplifting and also to be uplifting to others. Heaven in your heart brings peace to your mind.
•Don’t be in a hurry. Marriage will come, family will come, money will come. In its own time, enjoy where I am right now.
•Friends don’t hurt. Surround myself with things that are uplifting and also to be uplifting to others. Heaven in your heart brings peace to your mind.
Celebrate Self
Don't just accept your flaws, celebrate them! She's beautifully cracked, but never broken.
A woman who doesn’t know her worth will put up with anything
I’m not sure who coined that phrase but they sure hit the nail on the head. This is not even necessarily about man/woman relationships, this is relationships in general. You will accept poor treatment from friends, family, co-workers, in addition to likely not taking care of yourself properly.
The thing is, you show people how to treat you. If you do not see fit to take care of yourself, then neither will other people.
When you treat yourself as if you are special, important, priceless, beautiful, and rare then others will know no other way to treat you. More importantly, those that don’t will not phase you because your sense of worth does not come from the retail value that someone else has placed on you.
Your value now comes from within.
#nowPlaying: Kerry Hilson, Pretty Girls Rock
We walk confident and act like we LOVE ourselves, even if sometimes we have "one of those days." We are not egotistical thinkin' we can do what we want and get who we want... but we do walk tall and proud. We are beautiful and lovable because we work and dream hard. Pretty Girls ROCK!!!!!
Eat Pray Love ... moment
"I think I deserve something beautiful."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
my 2011 mantra
Grant me the strength within to love all living things and to make a positive impact on all I encounter today. May I attract positive people and circumstances to me that I may be more effective in my undertakings. May no one be too important nor too unimportant to greet with a kind word.
I seek the strength to live completely in love, as I release my fears. I grant forgiveness for all I hold against myself and for all I hold against another. May I be a tool for healing in the world. I ask for the fortitude to be the embodiment of selfless harmony to the extent I am able today.
I will be generous with my time, resources, and myself to the best of my ability without resentment or reluctance. For I know that what I give others I give to myself as well.
I seek happiness, peace, and freedom from suffering today. As such I wish it for all other beings as well. I am thankful for all that I have been given. I am especially grateful for the beauty and harmony that exists all around me, if only I am willing to see it.
Finally, I seek a patient acceptance as events unfold in my life. Help me to see the big picture and not get bogged down by unimportant details. I understand that all my experiences are chosen by me at some level for my benefit. Thus, I seek to understand, to learn and to open myself to every wonderful possibility.
Amen
~Author Unknown
I seek the strength to live completely in love, as I release my fears. I grant forgiveness for all I hold against myself and for all I hold against another. May I be a tool for healing in the world. I ask for the fortitude to be the embodiment of selfless harmony to the extent I am able today.
I will be generous with my time, resources, and myself to the best of my ability without resentment or reluctance. For I know that what I give others I give to myself as well.
I seek happiness, peace, and freedom from suffering today. As such I wish it for all other beings as well. I am thankful for all that I have been given. I am especially grateful for the beauty and harmony that exists all around me, if only I am willing to see it.
Finally, I seek a patient acceptance as events unfold in my life. Help me to see the big picture and not get bogged down by unimportant details. I understand that all my experiences are chosen by me at some level for my benefit. Thus, I seek to understand, to learn and to open myself to every wonderful possibility.
Amen
~Author Unknown
There is Life and Death in the Power of the tongue ….
....something to that effect. I've always known that there is power behind every word we utter whether jokingly or straight faced, serious as a judge. Calling a child fat, stupid, ugly or lazy; stays with them for life. Or hearing you’re broken, incapable, useless, stays in your psyche and just messes you up emotionally and mentally. Hearing these words over and over you start to believe them and they keep you from doing any better.
I know because for a long time I was there.
I've learned to be very careful with what I say out of anger, spite or emotions because words are so powerful and it will impact people and/or situations.
What you say matters so much, whether it's to yourself or to someone else. It would be nice if we all took a moment to choose our words wisely.
Lets lift each other up in Positive Vibrations.
#nowPlaying: John Legend, She don't have to know
I suspect that I might have had an outer body experience and shouldn’t be held responsible for any actions I was obviously possessed by a lunatic.
Diamonds
Whenever I see a big fat diamond sitting on someone’s engagement ring (like I just did), why do I think ..."Dude must really love that girl?"
That's dumb. It doesn't mean that. It just meant dude spent a lot of money.
But of course as I looked her over while she stood there with her cute manicure ordering a fat, greasy steak sandwich. I started to think she got her man so I guess she doesn't have to worry about what she is eating anymore.
Good for you chickaboo.
That's dumb. It doesn't mean that. It just meant dude spent a lot of money.
But of course as I looked her over while she stood there with her cute manicure ordering a fat, greasy steak sandwich. I started to think she got her man so I guess she doesn't have to worry about what she is eating anymore.
Good for you chickaboo.
I wish ...
… I was as bold and brave as I used to be, when we first met.
… That I wouldn't have let him stump so hard on my heroic shell, shattering it all into pieces.
… he would just tell me that he isn’t in love with me, the way he used to be or perhaps not even at all.
… he could accept the fact that I’m just not like everyone else. I can’t/won’t just do because … because he says so.
… that I could put aside the fact that yes I have a good man but seemingly just not good enough … at least not for me.
… I could rewind time and not have any children so that I would never have to communicate with him ever again.
… that he would simply leave me.
… that he could simply agree that this … just is not working … and walk away gracefully.
****They say watch what you ask for, Cause you just might receive ... But if you ask me tomorrow ... I will say the same thing****
#teamsecondchances
You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. ~Ayn Rand~
We all make mistakes but learning from them is the best thing we can do!!!! Mistakes and Life Lessons are meant to make us better and push us toward who God wants us to be!!!!!
Happy Birthday ME ....
Everyday He wakes me, He gives me another chance to get it right. 525,600 minutes ... That's how many chances God gives me every year .... for that I am truly thankFull and grateFull.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee,
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife,
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man
In truth that she learned or in times that he cried
In the bridges she burned or the way that he died
It's time now to sing out though the story never ends
Let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends
How about love
How about love
How about love
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
....and then there was me.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee,
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife,
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man
In truth that she learned or in times that he cried
In the bridges she burned or the way that he died
It's time now to sing out though the story never ends
Let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends
How about love
How about love
How about love
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
....and then there was me.
Teach Me How To Love
According to 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and 13:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
To me, this is the definition of a perfect love. I am not perfect so I do not seek perfection I just strive to be better.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
To me, this is the definition of a perfect love. I am not perfect so I do not seek perfection I just strive to be better.
I love you, old friend.
I haven’t talked to you in a while.
Even in the midst of family emergencies, sickness and other unimaginable worries
I manage to miss you.
When I should be enveloped in these serious matters, your face creeps into my thoughts.
a twisting in my stomach, a sharp tickle that stabs.
a nag on my heart strings/harping on heart things…
The blink after a tear drops is full of “where are you?”
And
"why don’t you care about me?"
In your loneliness you’ve started infecting others with your same sadness.
A call could heal us all.
aw
he doesn't know it
... Whenever he calls me "sweety" I melt a little inside
... A tiny little "I'm sorry. It was my fault. Please forgive me" would squash everything between us
... I will never, ever be his, bear his children, or marry him. No matter what
... In the short time we were together I kinda fell for him *hard*
... I'd give him "carte blanc" in the bedroom, no commitment necessary
... He was my first true love
... I only use him for an ego boost
... While I play the friend role, I'm secretly waiting out his relationship
... If I didn't have him in my life I couldn't go on
... A tiny little "I'm sorry. It was my fault. Please forgive me" would squash everything between us
... I will never, ever be his, bear his children, or marry him. No matter what
... In the short time we were together I kinda fell for him *hard*
... I'd give him "carte blanc" in the bedroom, no commitment necessary
... He was my first true love
... I only use him for an ego boost
... While I play the friend role, I'm secretly waiting out his relationship
... If I didn't have him in my life I couldn't go on
Yesterday I Cried
Current mood: reflective
I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes,
unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.I'm telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over
the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of
soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired,
or too mad to cry.I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored,
disrespected, and
disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me
in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.I cried for all the things I had given,
only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that
had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away,
to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.I cried because there really does
come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get
left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy
who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there
for me so badly until I ached.Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt.
I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that
caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there,
the hurt wakes you up.I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.I cried a soulful cry yesterday,
and it felt so good.It felt so very, very bad.In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,
Because Yesterday,
I cried with an agenda.
Iyanla Vanzant
*****************************
This poem is an old favorite. Iyanla Vanzant also wrote a book by the same title. I've read this poem many times and each time I get something new from it, just like I did today when I read this poem for the ninth hundred thousandth time.
no accounting for taste ....
Current Mood: unAppreciated
When I cooked for you, you said I was way too sweet
When I suggested a book to you, you said I was way too deep
When I let you win a game, you said I played too weak
When I took you to a movie, you went straight to sleep..
When I greeted you with flowers, you said I was lame
When I walked you to your place, you said I was tame
When I treated you polite, you said, "Well, Drew's real nice.."
When I wrote you a letter, you said, "Who still writes?.."
When I prayed with you, you said I was too spiritual
When I called you everyday, you said I was too predictable
When I gave you what you wanted, you called me a sucker
When I told you that I loved you, you told me I was "like your
brother"..
When I made you a gift instead of buying one, you said I was cheap
When I straightened your room while you were gone, you called me a
neat freak
When I didn't wild out when I saw you talking to another dude,
you said I was too laidback for you
And when I didn't try to have sex the first time you came over,
you thought I must not be physically attracted to you..
When I shed tears in front of you, you called me a boo-hoo
When I didn't curse around you, you called me a goody-two-shoes
And when I said I thought the world of you, you said,
"I just don't think of you like that..
..oh, there's my other line; let me call you right back.."
So I suppose the ideal brother for you is:
An adventurously rude
Contemptuously crude
Politely mean
Excitably obscene
Sexually uncontrollable
Hardly holdable
Abruptly abusive
FUCKING LOSER
Who's too hardcore to cook
To dumb to read a book
Too "masculine" to cry
Too headstrong to apologize
Too busy "keeping it real" to be honest
Too unreliable to keep a promise
And too much of a villain
To give a fuck about your feelings..
I guess
There's just
No accounting
FOR TASTE..
© 2002, Drew Anderson, all rights reserved.
When I cooked for you, you said I was way too sweet
When I suggested a book to you, you said I was way too deep
When I let you win a game, you said I played too weak
When I took you to a movie, you went straight to sleep..
When I greeted you with flowers, you said I was lame
When I walked you to your place, you said I was tame
When I treated you polite, you said, "Well, Drew's real nice.."
When I wrote you a letter, you said, "Who still writes?.."
When I prayed with you, you said I was too spiritual
When I called you everyday, you said I was too predictable
When I gave you what you wanted, you called me a sucker
When I told you that I loved you, you told me I was "like your
brother"..
When I made you a gift instead of buying one, you said I was cheap
When I straightened your room while you were gone, you called me a
neat freak
When I didn't wild out when I saw you talking to another dude,
you said I was too laidback for you
And when I didn't try to have sex the first time you came over,
you thought I must not be physically attracted to you..
When I shed tears in front of you, you called me a boo-hoo
When I didn't curse around you, you called me a goody-two-shoes
And when I said I thought the world of you, you said,
"I just don't think of you like that..
..oh, there's my other line; let me call you right back.."
So I suppose the ideal brother for you is:
An adventurously rude
Contemptuously crude
Politely mean
Excitably obscene
Sexually uncontrollable
Hardly holdable
Abruptly abusive
FUCKING LOSER
Who's too hardcore to cook
To dumb to read a book
Too "masculine" to cry
Too headstrong to apologize
Too busy "keeping it real" to be honest
Too unreliable to keep a promise
And too much of a villain
To give a fuck about your feelings..
I guess
There's just
No accounting
FOR TASTE..
© 2002, Drew Anderson, all rights reserved.
One That Got Away
Everybody has that one person that for whatever reason a relationship never really jump started and you are left wondering what if. ***sigh***
I miss my one that got away (I wonder if he thinks of me every now and then)
I wonder if it's possible that I might be someone’s “one that got away”
I miss my one that got away (I wonder if he thinks of me every now and then)
I wonder if it's possible that I might be someone’s “one that got away”
life as I see it ...
the highest point in my life; was the birth of my first son; for a split second he made my relationship with "him' feel like it was worth holding on ...
the lowest point in my life; is that i've lost control of who i am and strayed from that strong person that i use to be; by allowing my relationship with "him" to define who i am as a person ...
the lowest point in my life; is that i've lost control of who i am and strayed from that strong person that i use to be; by allowing my relationship with "him" to define who i am as a person ...
Crush on you
So I was on Facebook the other day and I got a friend request from someone I went to middle/early high school with a gazillion years ago. We exchanged the usual "What have you been up to/cute kids/what do you do now/where are you living" pleasantries.
He blurted out that he had a crush on me since hi school (((Giggling))) umm ok then ... I had to reread it twice to make sure I understood what was written.
He said some things that he remembered about me from waaaaaaaaaaaay back then that the only way he would have paid that much attention was if he WAS crushing me.
Wow ... who knew ... That just goes to show you never know WHOSE type you are ….
He blurted out that he had a crush on me since hi school (((Giggling))) umm ok then ... I had to reread it twice to make sure I understood what was written.
He said some things that he remembered about me from waaaaaaaaaaaay back then that the only way he would have paid that much attention was if he WAS crushing me.
Wow ... who knew ... That just goes to show you never know WHOSE type you are ….
know love
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life." Bob Marley-
He should know that...
"You aren't going to be her 1st, her last, or her only... she's loved before; and she will love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect -and you're not either. If she can make you laugh and if she admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can. She's not going to be thinking about you every moment of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows YOU can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad and miss her when she's not there. Because perfect girls don't exist, but there's always ONE girl that is perfect for you."
-Anonymous
on wet pavement
his eyes were the first to betray the calm demeanor he was trying to convince her he possessed.
his eyes.
seemed like the devil himself had slithered beneath the rain-soaked cement, slipped into the soles of his $500 Prada shoes, inhabited his body, and now rested, quietly demented in his eyes.
those eyes told her feet to move. she couldn't though. she didn't.
she was frozen. stood still as if a statue had been erected and taken her place, the only sign of life the heavy tears forcing their way forward. for a split second she saw them like they used to be, smiles abounding, love filling their every pore.
was it possible for a six week relationship to have a 'used to be'?
for some, six weeks might have seemed far too short a time to have met, fell in love, become engaged and purchased a home, but for them it was as natural as the wind gently blowing through the trees.
he was perfect. any swoon-worthy quality a woman could dream up, he possessed. tall, handsome, sensitive, strong, attentive, very gainfully employed as a highly regarded FBI agent. and the sex. at the mere thought of their passionate bedroom acts, her brain would cue up that "Best I Ever Had" song by that Degrassi kid. although she wasn't sure if this was a testament to her fiance, or the fact that the song had been over-saturating every radio wave for the last month.
her friends had warned her of the possibles. maybe he was unstable. maybe he was already married. suggested she take her time, not accept a key to his home after seven days of knowing him. all pretending to be happy for her, and yet all secretly thinking that this just couldn't be real. they dubbed him Mr. Too Good To Be True.
haters.
his mouth was moving, angrily. she tried to hear him above the ire ringing in her ears, but only caught key words. bitch. hoe. triflin.
she heard those loudly. clearly. saw the spittle droplets fling forcefully from his bottom lip and become obscure on the wet ground. she looked down at her left hand. the diamond engagement ring shone against the lone streetlight, proving it was worthy of its $15,000 price tag.
her mouth curved into a nostalgic smile, as the day returned to her when he'd choked out the words "i want to marry you." he was so nervous that day. so full of love for her. so genuinely happy when she'd kissed his mouth and said yes. her smile curved a little more.
she looked back up at him, those eyes still telling her he was at the brink.
her own were cloudy. could barely see through the tears. she didn't bother looking down at her hand again, just kept her stare on his dilated pupils. those dark irises, glaring at her, daring her to make any sudden move.
she looked down at the spot on his waist where she knew his gun resided. the gun he had a legal right to carry wherever he went. the gun he wasn't supposed to have on him while intoxicated. she knew every nut, bolt and curve as if it were her own.
she thought about earlier that evening, when she'd suggested he leave his 'baby' at home. this was a celebratory night. he would be drunk before eleven. he'd laughed at her. he never went anywhere without it.
she smiled again.
"fuck you. and fuck this ring."
in one swift motion, she slipped the ring off and threw it with all her might, into the darkness of the parking lot. fuck him. the alcohol polluting her blood stream told her she meant it with everything inside her.
something snapped. broke loose. those eyes raged, turned dark.
the first blow found her face on the ground, the dirty pavement kissing up at her aggressively. she turned over, saw that familiar steel. saw those raging eyes. tried to close her's and envision a nice summer's day. didn't want those aphotic irises to be the last thing she saw.
she was too late.
she's so flyy: on wet pavement
his eyes.
seemed like the devil himself had slithered beneath the rain-soaked cement, slipped into the soles of his $500 Prada shoes, inhabited his body, and now rested, quietly demented in his eyes.
those eyes told her feet to move. she couldn't though. she didn't.
she was frozen. stood still as if a statue had been erected and taken her place, the only sign of life the heavy tears forcing their way forward. for a split second she saw them like they used to be, smiles abounding, love filling their every pore.
was it possible for a six week relationship to have a 'used to be'?
for some, six weeks might have seemed far too short a time to have met, fell in love, become engaged and purchased a home, but for them it was as natural as the wind gently blowing through the trees.
he was perfect. any swoon-worthy quality a woman could dream up, he possessed. tall, handsome, sensitive, strong, attentive, very gainfully employed as a highly regarded FBI agent. and the sex. at the mere thought of their passionate bedroom acts, her brain would cue up that "Best I Ever Had" song by that Degrassi kid. although she wasn't sure if this was a testament to her fiance, or the fact that the song had been over-saturating every radio wave for the last month.
her friends had warned her of the possibles. maybe he was unstable. maybe he was already married. suggested she take her time, not accept a key to his home after seven days of knowing him. all pretending to be happy for her, and yet all secretly thinking that this just couldn't be real. they dubbed him Mr. Too Good To Be True.
haters.
his mouth was moving, angrily. she tried to hear him above the ire ringing in her ears, but only caught key words. bitch. hoe. triflin.
she heard those loudly. clearly. saw the spittle droplets fling forcefully from his bottom lip and become obscure on the wet ground. she looked down at her left hand. the diamond engagement ring shone against the lone streetlight, proving it was worthy of its $15,000 price tag.
her mouth curved into a nostalgic smile, as the day returned to her when he'd choked out the words "i want to marry you." he was so nervous that day. so full of love for her. so genuinely happy when she'd kissed his mouth and said yes. her smile curved a little more.
she looked back up at him, those eyes still telling her he was at the brink.
her own were cloudy. could barely see through the tears. she didn't bother looking down at her hand again, just kept her stare on his dilated pupils. those dark irises, glaring at her, daring her to make any sudden move.
she looked down at the spot on his waist where she knew his gun resided. the gun he had a legal right to carry wherever he went. the gun he wasn't supposed to have on him while intoxicated. she knew every nut, bolt and curve as if it were her own.
she thought about earlier that evening, when she'd suggested he leave his 'baby' at home. this was a celebratory night. he would be drunk before eleven. he'd laughed at her. he never went anywhere without it.
she smiled again.
"fuck you. and fuck this ring."
in one swift motion, she slipped the ring off and threw it with all her might, into the darkness of the parking lot. fuck him. the alcohol polluting her blood stream told her she meant it with everything inside her.
something snapped. broke loose. those eyes raged, turned dark.
the first blow found her face on the ground, the dirty pavement kissing up at her aggressively. she turned over, saw that familiar steel. saw those raging eyes. tried to close her's and envision a nice summer's day. didn't want those aphotic irises to be the last thing she saw.
she was too late.
she's so flyy: on wet pavement
I Feared......
I feared being alone
Until I learned to like Myself.
I feared failure
Until I realized that I only Fail when I don't try.
I feared success
Until I realized That I had to try In order to be happy With myself.
I feared people's opinions
Until I learned that People would have opinions About me anyway.
I feared rejection
Until I learned to Have faith in myself.
I feared pain
Until I learned that it's necessary For growth.
I feared the truth
Until I saw the Ugliness in lies.
I feared life
Until I experienced Its beauty.
I feared death
Until I realized that it's Not an end, but a beginning.
I feared my destiny
Until I realized that I had the power to change My life.
I feared hate
Until I saw that it Was nothing more than Ignorance.
I feared love
Until it touched my heart, Making the darkness fade Into endless sunny days.
I feared ridicule
Until I learned how To laugh at myself.
I feared growing old
Until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the future
Until I realized that Life just kept getting Better.
I feared the past
Until I realized that It could no longer hurt me.
I feared the dark
Until I saw the beauty Of the starlight
Until I learned to like Myself.
I feared failure
Until I realized that I only Fail when I don't try.
I feared success
Until I realized That I had to try In order to be happy With myself.
I feared people's opinions
Until I learned that People would have opinions About me anyway.
I feared rejection
Until I learned to Have faith in myself.
I feared pain
Until I learned that it's necessary For growth.
I feared the truth
Until I saw the Ugliness in lies.
I feared life
Until I experienced Its beauty.
I feared death
Until I realized that it's Not an end, but a beginning.
I feared my destiny
Until I realized that I had the power to change My life.
I feared hate
Until I saw that it Was nothing more than Ignorance.
I feared love
Until it touched my heart, Making the darkness fade Into endless sunny days.
I feared ridicule
Until I learned how To laugh at myself.
I feared growing old
Until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the future
Until I realized that Life just kept getting Better.
I feared the past
Until I realized that It could no longer hurt me.
I feared the dark
Until I saw the beauty Of the starlight
I promise myself
To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
― Christian D. Larson,
Promise, I Promise
psst ... pass it on
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't know.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave it before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess around too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, buy be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't know.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave it before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess around too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, buy be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
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