"you will find him, you'll find him next to me"
You won't find him drinking under tables
Rolling dice or staying out til 3
You won't ever find him be unfaithful
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
You won't find him tryna to change the devil
For money, fame, for power, out of greed
You won't ever find him where the rest go
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
Next to me - wooh hooo
Next to me - wooh hooo
Next to me - wooh hooo
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished
And I can't seem to find no help or love for free
I know there's no need for me to panic
'Cause I'll find him, I'll find him next to me
When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
And the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
When all I need's a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, I'll find him next to me
Next to me - wooh hooo
Next to me - wooh hooo
Next to me - wooh hooo
I will find him, I'll find him next to me
When the end has come and buildings falling down fast
When we've spoilt the land and dried up all the sea
When everyone has lost their heads around us
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
Next to me - wooh hooo
Next to me - wooh hooo
Next to me - wooh hooo
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
Next to me - wooh hooo
Next to me - wooh hooo
Next to me - wooh hooo
You will find him you'll find him next to me
Letter to my 25 year old self, at 35
Be too focused on improving yourself, that you don’t have time to criticize others. Credit cards are evil. Talk is cheap. There is always, always something to be thankFull for. There is no soul mate. The One is The One because you say he is The One. Life is what you make of it. Everything happens for a reason. Tragedy happens. life can be cruel and heart wrenching. Some souls will collide and mistakes are bound to happen. Believe it or not, you reserve the right to cut people off when they start to corrupt the peaceful ambiance that is your life. You are extremely Blessed. SING off key. Sometimes you know you shouldn’t do “it” … and that’s exactly why you should. Make it a point to be encouraging as possible, as much as possible to everyone as possible. If a married man tries to French Kiss you, it is definitely out of bounds. Burn your to do list. Get out more, socialize, meet new people. Don’t take it personally, especially when they don’t know you personally. Continue to “Be kinder than necessary”. Your heart…your heart…your heart is where it’s at. Be generous with your time. The race is long and in the end its only against your self. Be less critical with your words. Love all, love always. Don’t look back EVER. Enter. Leave. You will exercise, you will eat right, you will eat wrong, you will lose weight, you will gain weight. you will get gray hair. You will feel frumpy at times. Remember you are beautiful. Fall in love. with yourself. with him. You can be anything you want in the world…. Just don’t be ungrateful. Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace. BECAUSE LIFE IS SHORT.
Be too focused on improving yourself, that you don’t have time to criticize others. Credit cards are evil. Talk is cheap. There is always, always something to be thankFull for. There is no soul mate. The One is The One because you say he is The One. Life is what you make of it. Everything happens for a reason. Tragedy happens. life can be cruel and heart wrenching. Some souls will collide and mistakes are bound to happen. Believe it or not, you reserve the right to cut people off when they start to corrupt the peaceful ambiance that is your life. You are extremely Blessed. SING off key. Sometimes you know you shouldn’t do “it” … and that’s exactly why you should. Make it a point to be encouraging as possible, as much as possible to everyone as possible. If a married man tries to French Kiss you, it is definitely out of bounds. Burn your to do list. Get out more, socialize, meet new people. Don’t take it personally, especially when they don’t know you personally. Continue to “Be kinder than necessary”. Your heart…your heart…your heart is where it’s at. Be generous with your time. The race is long and in the end its only against your self. Be less critical with your words. Love all, love always. Don’t look back EVER. Enter. Leave. You will exercise, you will eat right, you will eat wrong, you will lose weight, you will gain weight. you will get gray hair. You will feel frumpy at times. Remember you are beautiful. Fall in love. with yourself. with him. You can be anything you want in the world…. Just don’t be ungrateful. Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace. BECAUSE LIFE IS SHORT.
I'm over you - Aulelei Love
I used to stretch my body and think of you.
Long enough to feel guilty,
But never long enough to consider anything beyond the thought.
But today, during the sun salutation
When my spine lengthened
Your heat wasn't there.
I had to struggle to summon your memory.
The width of you,
The enclosed feeling I lived in when smothered underneath your laughter at midnight,
Your sweat,
The way your pupils disappear when you smile.
I fought myself to remember you this morning because
I realize that saying goodbye to you means
I have to say goodbye to some of my best memories
My greatest stories
The heartache that inspires my best work
The bitterness that had made me a wonderful mother
Badu's 'green eyes' will no longer evoke sobs
Soul food menus will never make me blush or giggle behind closed eyelids again
I'm closing your door
The one that I had placed a piece of paper over the lock so it wouldn't shut completely
The door I oiled the hinges to so you can sneak back in without notice
This is good bye...
Choices -Bassy Ikpe
Trying to fall asleep
confronted by the glow of a television
at 3AM or 4AM or 5AM
is difficult
you cannot sleep comfortably here
but your bedroom is just
too lonely
too far away
too cold
your heart
it's beating too fast
you are covered in a mist
your own sweat
and you are afraid
of what's happening to your body
to your emotions
to your common sense
so this is an open letter
to the girl that you once were
the one that loved without
restrictions and conditions
the one that was fearless
without judgment
the one that loved loudly
like a thousand steel bands
and danced with the feverish joy
of a child just learning to appreciate her body
her feet
how they move
how they feel
how they carry
remembering the voice
your voice
and how it never fit on the inside
it existed within the full-throated shout of grown men
outdoors amongst the trees
skinned knees
the freedom of dirt
and mud
and rain
She is 25 now, that girl
and after a quarter century of living
and loving
she has become lonely
and scared
harboring secrets
and sadness
wondering
what happened to 18
and innocent
and sober
and fearless
But this isn't about that
or her
this is about hiding
this is about choices
about saying no
when you mean yes
this is about saying I'm afraid
and lonely
and sorry
and meaning it
this is about finally knowing what you want
and having no idea how to get it
this is about for once not hiding behind
metaphors
and similes
and smiles
and reconstructed laughter
this is about honesty
and truth
and falling in love
and meaning it
This is about falling
and love
and leaving it
this is about not knowing
but mostly, this is about choices
choices too difficult to take like
leaving or loving
choices too difficult to make like
living or dying
this is about confusion
and contradiction
a vegetarian who hates vegetables
a size 2 who always tries on a size 8
just in case something has changed
this is about changes
honoring them
trusting them
recognizing them
and fearing them
this is about never letting go
so this is about letting go
this is about looking him in the face
saying I will fight for you
protect you
I swear to God
This is about wanting someone to fight for you
protect you
swear to their God
This is about knowing that he won't
and still finding the strength to leave
so this is about fatigue
and being tired of being there
when no one seems to be there for you
this is about knowing who is
who will leave you alone
who will beg you to stay
and those who know the difference
This is about truth
the ones you keep hidden about yourself
from yourself
this is about the mess you've made of a life
you haven't even really started to own yet
this is about the friends you can't share the scary parts with
so maybe, this is about secrets
about the pills hidden in your underwear drawer
about 4 hours in the gym
about 2 weeks of only water and powers
so this is about shame
about finally admitting that things aren't okay
this is about the fear lodged in the pit of your belly
the fear that gives you
weight
wings
the fear rising with the lump in your throat
this is about crying in public
and hiding the tears
this is about wanting to jump
and your fear of heights
this is about your need to soar
and the ropes that keep you grounded
and expectations
and disappointments
this is about the sadness behind your mother's eyes
the worry in your father's voice
this is about walking away
and not looking back
this is about looking back
and facing the mirror
this is about being naked
with your truths
with your family
with your friends
with your lovers
this is about saying
now that you know the truth
will you please just love me anyway?
this is about safety
about reaching out begging to be heard
it's about voices
and words
that no longer comfort
this is about humility
and admitting that you need help
and sleep
and permission to cry
despite the strength you are often accused of
this is about the walls that you've built
to trap
and protect
this is about those brave enough to scale those walls
those that battle for you
against you
to knock them down
this is about relinquishing control
it's about taking a breath
stepping back
It's about 3AM, 4AM, 5AM,
6AM, 7AM, 8AM, 9AM
still no sleep
the glow of a television
you
bathed in sweat
tears
the mystery of silence
solitude
the need for noise
the quiet that confines you
and the chaos
that will always
keep you
moving
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